You sure aren't alone. My baby sister and entire JDUB family ignored me 1 & 1/2 mos before my sister's wedding in December dispite my phone calls. After a few, I knew to let it go. My non-JDUB family kept me posted. The JDUBS regret it now. Maddie will never be able to change that decision (which was her submitting to elder dad's control). She will never have me in those wedding pictures of family. I still have not met her husband. She and my family have started a wave of pathetic reasoning and excuses but I see through it, as does my boyfriend and non-JDUB family. In the end, it will hurt them more than me because they made the decisions not me. Regardless of how they try to excuse their behavior. Actually, look at it this way: in time he and you will have the high ground and they'll know it. I am not letting anyone off the hook but I can move on. Do the same. Good luck to you both!
White Waves
JoinedPosts by White Waves
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24
A wedding UNinvitation... please help me before I flip
by Fleshybirdfodder ini just got of the phone with my younger brother and i am angered to the point of apoplexy.
he was planning on going to a wedding of an old close friend of his accompanied by my mom (an active witless still), but happened to check an email address he doesn't use frequently anymore.
surprise!
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27
Are you far too trusting in other people?
by Elsewhere ini'm afraid i am.
it is in my nature to expect everyone to act in the best interests of everyone else.
i never expect that others will intentionally cause harm to another in a willfull and malisious act.
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White Waves
I am a person of extremes in this regard. At first I have to try hard not to come off as cold or suspicious of new ones I meet. I distrust so strongly. But, as soon as I begin to feel trusting, it is completely. I can get myself in to trouble because of it. I was raised to never trust but my desire is to be trusting. I'm working on balance. someday - maybe
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I contacted my Elder father and mom...
by White Waves inafter 8 mos of shunning acknowledged by familia and friends, i contacted my elder dad - mike, and he put my mommy on the phone for support - she was never the touchy feely type - more the depressed secluded type.
i wanted to know if my dad had any reason why i shouldn't send my official da letter to 2 congregations and parishioners (since my first request was denied).
he told me they then could have no contact with me, instead of limited contact.... i told them my jw family has had no contact with me since october and i did not even receive an invite to my baby sister's wedding in december- who i raised and cared for for 3 1/2 years while my mother was in a depression and had health problems.
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White Waves
Well, Daddy demanded my boyfriend's phone number and Dave has been dying to talk to him. David wants to get to know the family and hopes it will all work out w/out the DA letter but respects my decision if I send it. SO I gave the number to my dad but he is not the one that called David. My mom did! and me too. She left voice mails yesterday. Today David called her privately and then I called her later. She is trying to find a way to have contact with me independently of DAD without making Jehovah mad at her. I told her to check out the WT CD, since she can't check with an Elder (DAD IS ONE-they talk to each other). She is going to do so. She now understands that the lies my brothers and sisters made about emailing and calling me are false - David proved that and she understands I don't hold that against her. Mom and I never had a relationship until she helped me break free from my abusive JW husband. Then she got sucked back in by DAD and fear of disappointing Jehovah. She is one of the real believers in the borg - She was raised to be subservient to men. Since I moved out she has made great progress and healing but I know she is hindered my the JWs. She is going to look into the relationship she can have with me (she will keep it secret like before) and then contact me. So, maybe, I can have a relationship with Mom and no one else. That would be enough. time will tell. Thank you everyone - the encouragement and support is awesome - Where would I be without it??? WW
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Good-bye, Sylvester
by AudeSapere intoday i must say good-bye to a friend i have known for 14 years.
sylvester was only four months old when he and his brother scout moved in with me - a dog person - and my australian shephard.
the kittens were supposed to be pets for the 10-year-old.
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White Waves
I am sorry you had to make such a difficult decision. It is never easy to lose a pet. They touch our hearts so deeply. You made the right decision for him.
WW
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I contacted my Elder father and mom...
by White Waves inafter 8 mos of shunning acknowledged by familia and friends, i contacted my elder dad - mike, and he put my mommy on the phone for support - she was never the touchy feely type - more the depressed secluded type.
i wanted to know if my dad had any reason why i shouldn't send my official da letter to 2 congregations and parishioners (since my first request was denied).
he told me they then could have no contact with me, instead of limited contact.... i told them my jw family has had no contact with me since october and i did not even receive an invite to my baby sister's wedding in december- who i raised and cared for for 3 1/2 years while my mother was in a depression and had health problems.
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White Waves
After 8 mos of shunning acknowledged by familia and friends, I contacted my Elder Dad - Mike, and he put my mommy on the phone for support - she was never the touchy feely type - more the depressed secluded type. I wanted to know if my Dad had ANY REASON why I shouldn't send my official DA letter to 2 congregations and parishioners (since my first request was DENIED). He told me they then could have no contact with me, instead of limited contact.... I told them my JW family has had NO CONTACT with me SINCE OCTOBER and I did not even receive an invite to my baby sister's wedding in December- who I raised and cared for for 3 1/2 years while my mother was in a depression and had health problems. No call backs from bros and sisters- told my non-jws that Elder DAD ordered the shunning of me. My dad (elder) told me I was shunning Jehovah - doomed to death.... He told me my Aunt and Grandma lied when they told me that Daddy was angry at them for not shunning me like he had and everyone else and that I would have crawled back if not for my non-JW family that broke his rules... He said that I will eventually crawl back regardless of non-JW family and that I am weak and sinful and my siblings are lucky I am out of their lives. I asked Where would Methodists come up with this terminology?? My boyfriend can't wait to slam my a**-hole elder dad... so I gave my Elder Dad David's cell number. I hope this is not a huge mistake. If anything, I hope it makes our relationship even better. David has wanted for SOOOOOO long to tell my dad off. He wanted to do it face-to-face but this shunning sh** fu**ed that up. This should be still be good though... Meanwhile, I am finalizing my lette and trying to get a few addresses. . I can't see any benefit in not sending it. Do I want to spend years defending and justifying my choices? How does that help me move on? And it will not change anybody else's view. I have placed my faith in God. David wants so bad to tell my dad to F off and tell my dad his cult, physical/emotional abuse and control is evil. I fear that somehow my father will make David stop loving me. I am scared. But I am trying to believe in God and that he will help me and guide me. Many on this site don't believe in God - but I do. I just hope that I can keep up with the turmoil that is about to hit my life and that I won't drown in it. If I survive it and David survives it - we will be free to start anew. Please... wish us the best and any advise or experiences are welcome - All on this site have helped me in so many ways!! David has started to explore this site and has felt so welcome and understood. I hope he creates a sign-on and avatar and learns more. Regardless, he is eager to come to the Apostabeercheesefest!!! He wants to meet others like him in relationships with exjws and exjws like me :) LOVE WW
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shunning addressed on Big Love tonight
by candidlynuts ini was freaking out!.
barbs mother wont see her but sent barbs sister to pick up the kids so they could visit the kids.. of course, they push their own religious beliefs on the kids while they have them.. gawd jw flashbacks were hitting me!
hope some of you see the episode so we can talk about it!.
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White Waves
JWFACTS - sounds like supervised visits would be good - or a huge amount of discussion with your teen after each encounter to clear up any concerns she may have. Mom should know better than to insinuate or place doubts in the mind of a child. She's a parent after all!
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This is insane!
by Soledad in.
i came across this article today while looking for some recipes.......can you believe this!
http://www.soilandhealth.org/06clipfile/0601.lemag/le%20magazine,%20march%202001%20-%20report%20vegetables%20without%20vitamins.htm
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White Waves
I may also be because produce is hybridized to shorten time to harvest and improve appearance with little thought to taste and no thought to nutritional content. Also, I think of all the chemicals used on them. There are fewer and fewer varieties of every kind of produce. This has similar effects as in-breeding in wildlife - increased susceptibility to disease. Corn is one of the most hybridized vegetables. There are seed banks around the world gathering and storing vanishing varieties of produce in the event of such problems. True victorian or antique produce lines do have higher concentrations of nutrients - many organic growers are bringing these often less visually appealing, yet more nutritious produce items to consumers. After a few years of organic farming, many of these farmers claim that it is actually cheaper and more profitable than commercial methods. If you want more nutrition for your buck and have it available in your area - go with fresh produce - go with organic.
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Tarot card reading?
by merfi inwhere do you find ones who do this?
yellow pages?
if you've had it done, was it accurate?
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White Waves
The East Side of Milwaukee this is common along with palm reading and something having to do with reading your meridians. Coffee Shops, park festivals, even on the beach. I never could try Tarot card reading before and haven't been where this is available since. I don't buy into it and those I know that have done it just do it as a joke. I'd trust my horoscope more and that is not saying much.
WW
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What the heck do JWs find wrong with Mother's Day, Father's Day,
by White Waves insweetest day????
and, how did wedding anniversaries get to be ok and not birthdays???
arghhh!
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White Waves
Sweetest Day???? And, HOW did wedding anniversaries get to be OK and not birthdays??? ARGHHH! Sorry, I have not looked at a school brochure in 20 yrs, slept or zoned during any child or parent oriented meeting and have no idea on this. Thank you much!!!
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Assemblies
by I-follow-the-narrow-path inso i was invited to an assembly by my jw teacher .
i think i will be pretty bored and feel out of place.
it is a 3 day assembly this summer and the jw said they were to invite everyone (interested).
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White Waves
The prospect of never being in a healthy relationship, living as a single person indefinitely is so depressing, many JW women keep tolerating the abuse. After a while, I believed I was incapable of being alone until the abuse reached a new level and my life was at stake. That coupled with the JW "rule" that 2 must witness the offense, husband is the authority in a marriage and strongly discouraging any involvement of police, hospitals, or anything that could "shame the organization" the abuse went on a long time. How would I be treated after I left my abusive husband? I am the bad one. I left. I can't tell anyone what he did or why I left because then I would be punished. My husband acted so sad and "woe as me" crap that it was truly disgusting. That coupled with the fact of his stalking and harrassment (against restraining orders) was viewed by JW elders and others as his sincere attempt to patch things up and I, again, was the bad one for not trying harder and letting him do as he pleased. I was not allowed to call police for these violations, again - shame on the organization and my foolishly listening to these elders and not my safety.It is not just the sheltering of abusers in this cult that should concern you, it is the fact this religion empowers the husband to take control and manipulate the wife's life in so many ways that she can lose her identity, all freedom of choice. The wife will be treated in the congregation as her husband or the elders chose to portray her - not for who she truly is or wishes she could be. Some men are drawn to this religion solely for these reasons. They want to control and dominate a spouse and have a religion to enforce it. Others find it easy to fall into that pattern because of the emphasis that is put on the man's place over women and the realization that they are virtually untouchable when it comes to being stopped if becomes physical/verbal abuse because it does happen privately and even marks and broken bones can be excused away as from another source or accidental or even "her misconception or fault." My experience at 2 congregations and a multitude of Elders is that the abuse if felt to be the woman's fault. That a relationship can always work out if the woman tries hard enough. Trust me, there is never enough to be given to stop an abuser.
A husband outside the JWs will mean the wife will rarely, if ever be invited anywhere. That is, if you are not disfellowshipped or reproved for being with an outsider. If this couple has children, these children will also be seen as tainted by their "worldly" father and not as good as those children from an "all JW family."
Think about what you want out of life. You are young and have time - do not limit yourself in so many ways!! The more doors you keep open the better chance for you to fully find yourself and your happiness. WW